Steve Young's Ambush Wit

'I'm so excited to do my set in the actual bar where 'the accused' took place!'

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My Vagina

My favorite Valentine’s Day was a few years ago when I emceed a show that consisted of a bunch of super earnest musical numbers and the producer asked me if I have any Valentine’s Day jokes. “Sure,” I said over the phone, hoping he didn’t hear my nose growing.

My big Valentine’s Day number that brought the house down was my dead serious reading from “The Vagina Monologues,” accompanied by “Nadia’s Theme.” (The connection: “The Vagina Monologues” is performed around the world every February 14th, a day that author Eve Ensler has dubbed “V Day.”)

Excerpt: “I learned this from the woman who ran the vagina workshop. A woman who believes in vaginas. A woman who really sees vaginas.”

IT KILLED.

I wasn’t asked back the following year.

Filed under vday vaginamonologues standupcomedy

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Olympic Committee Supports Russia's Arrest of LGBT Activists

I was an exchange student in the then-USSR in high school and a Russian major in college. I had some positive experiences with the people and the culture in Moscow and L’vov, Ukraine. I watched the opening ceremonies out of curiosity last night, but beforehand I caught an interview between Maria Sharapova and Bob Costas.  She sat there talking about being proud that her hometown had pulled it together, and she was happy to visit with her extended family while she was there. Listening to her, in the back of my mind, I felt something very un-Olympic: dread. I wondered if she had any gay family members, knowing that if she did of course she wouldn’t want to admit that. I thought about the braver than hell 14 GLBT activists who were arrested yesterday in Russia. It’s against the law there to say that being gay is not a mental illness or a form of pedophilia, so all this prejudice and misinformation is going to stay entrenched now without actual facts to dispel the bigoted myths. I watched the opening ceremonies, which told us that apparently the Stalin era was a hotbed of Sock Hops. I thought about the likely statistical handful of performers who must be gay, and the terror that’s seeped into their lives that they can’t even acknowledge. Then today I saw this news item, about the IOC acting as Putin’s yes men and felt something else: repulsed. I’m done with this shit show.     

Filed under sochi2014 glbt olympics